thoughts that never go away
some times I always wish I was sleeping.
making sense of mixing words wishing I was dreaming
I need to be alone, everyone just closes my eyes
but when I wake up before dawn I'm open wide
writing all I can remember, what was that dream
I tear the paper and I wonder if I'll ever see.

and what does it look like to you,
I wish I could hear and see as you do.
with each of earth's revolutions
and no real resolutions
we just have more revolutions
and more destitution.
shunned by -tion's and art pollution
Words and words in a constitution
Just create proper illusion.

I respect magicians,
not for their magic or their tricks,
but for the way the see the clock and how it ticks.
Don't tell me the numbers I don't care,
The more math I know, the less I can breathe our air.

So take me far, take me far from here.
Bury me in mountains, Bury me in tears.
I've lived enough to be consumed by all my fear.

there is an abundance of misguided thought,
especially in terms of most forms of art.
strings of words or lines, letters or colors,
and you have something personal.
since the dawn of earth, as we can best picture it or imagine,
art has been defined by it's ability to communicate common thought.
this communication is achieved by the interpretation of the artist's work.
any one person can be an artist,
and any one person can interpret another's art work.
today, we have an uncountable number of what I will call "senseless art"
not that it does not provoke the senses,
but that it confuses the initial emotion that generated the art,
and that it is very difficult to interpet what the artist
was really feeling at the time the art was created,
therefore leaving a gap in the communication.
this troubles me only because I see a poet who's intention is to make a poem difficult to understand so that they may pretend they are a Shakespeare, or a painter who shapes objects oddly to be a Picasso.
this does not reflect skill.

skill is developed during years and years of dedication
and can never be replicated in exactly the same way.
the cultural setting of famed artists of old is so vastly different that
their works were not confusing to the people of their time.
the argument can be made that many artists were ahead of their time,
but chances are if you don't see the humor in Shakespeare's comedy,
and you'd rather see someone run over by a car or kicked in the crotch,
than you should not purposely try to convey
your emotions in a disguised manor.
they wrote and painted the way they did because it was the best way to depict their emotion at the time, through their minds, developed from their perspectives on their culture.

maybe that's really what I'm sorting through, our culture.
the best way I can think to describe what I see so it's easily understood is:
wishy washy.
it seems we now live in an age where we accept imperfection,
and excuse anything we please rather than striving to be the best.
it stems from every aspect of our lives, and if you fall short in one thing,
the rest of your life is lessened. I believe this to the fullest.

bring your blank canvas to life.

long story shorter, "be yourself",
search more deeply into these words
and find clarity in your heart, don't follow your conscience blindly.

I have so many online journals I hardly know where to post anymore.
Making progress day by day, goal by goal, I'm feeling pretty good to put it simply.

I like waking up to the sun rising and watching it continue it's path through the morning.

We hung out in Brighton last night to watch the grammys,
I really don't understand what's so special about Amy Whinehouse.

I don't think I will ever stop crushing on really pretty, talented female vocalists,
and I don't know if that is a good or a bad thing, but I'll deal.

I can't wait to be away for a while, my plane leaves tomorrow at 9:07.
I need to be out of my home town, even though I love it so.

Yawn, Stretch, back to work.

Fit with the fear of rejection,
They shut you down, and you just accept it.
Selling their advice, but they can’t see their own reflection.
Most people just believe the first thing that you tell them.

I'm tired, so I sleep, but I don't shut my eyes.
My blood feels thin and weak. The deepest of grey skies,
Has come to save me, but it's not my time,
It's not my time to leave.

brandon, shane, and eric go to white castle lol



see you in mansfield!

shit yeah!




































saw blueman group. ill.

played frisbee golf. ill.

downtown disney. ill.

city walk. ill.

random last minute trip to orlando. ill.


and thank you Jeremy of Paramore for being a mega cool dude.

and thank you Paramore for existing.

and thank you August Burns Red for making a kick ass cd.

and thank you Brad Paisley for Mud on the Tires.

and thank you simpsons movie this weekend.



shit yeah!

mypace. a place for friends.
more like a place to go when your friends or love life is running low,
and you've just too much self pity and not enough confidence
to find someone while standing on your own.
then again, where else is there to go?
success rates of angled picture blind dates are starting to plateau.
&musicians find another crutch as they abuse
not only electricity and the appeal of lust,
but automated promotional news.
So on this screen how can I tell
the famous from the fake,
when it's all turned so cliché
and everyone's just waiting not to wait.

-brandonshane

This is my escape.
When motivation dies I hideaway.
I sit and wait, for time to clean my cluttered slate,
And I’ll get my chance to start again,
But History doesn’t lie, it repeats.

We’re all caught—fish in a great big net.
With our failing fathers fitting fisherman,
We toss to be released, but they never set us free.

Some say “You’re not alone”,
But when it comes down to me or you
There’s no mercy, friend you’re on your own.

We talk big.
With words we barely understand.
We try to get our point across,
But mislead every honest hand.

That just wanted to be held.

-BrandonShane

Maybe when you get back.
I could watch him make you laugh,
but only through that tinted glass.
I drive like such a fool.
Parading the towns spying on you.

Lesson one in less than one time,
You made your gamble
and I watched my watch grind as the second hand
Took us there.

I'm sick of repeats,
I'm sick of disease.
I'm fighting to gain your honesty,
but I'm the hired thief.

That's my price,
Where I sell.
You can buy anything you'd like with enough printed paper,
Or spoil your hopes and dreams in a washed up wishing well.

If you keep saying later,
than I might have to say it too.
And if this gets around,
then it'd better make the news.

Because you aren't some celebrity,
but you still beg for the attention.
You look so sad when your make-up bleeds
because no one near will listen.

So keep some time dedicated to searching on the web.
Our efficient sense of comfort and modernness
will lead the march to perfection,
but before we stampede our sanctity,
let us answer a simple question:

Who are we looking and what do we hope to find?

The answer never tells the truth,
It always simply lies.

If I could only make the things I write
have more sense and meaning,
But I'm so damn dead from all this
time spent hanging from the ceiling.

sometimes you have to waste before you have worth.
at least that's how I learned.

because I do care.
I just keep telling myself,
and everyone else,
that I don't

and your credibility pays the toll.

all that's anything is in a name,
but it holds so little because
life is a numbers game.

You count, and you count,
until you knock yourself down.
then you restart.

I’ll be the detective.
You be the crime.
So when we meet,
It’s love at first sight.

I’ll chase you through airports
From state to country,
But no matter how close I get,
You’ll always be one step above me.

You be the detective;
Investigate my lies.
Rummage through my things,
But no clue you’ll ever find.

With the front of your loose fist to your forehead,
You won’t be able to rest.
The dark bags under your eyes
Want to know where I’ve been.

Catch me if you can,
But you can’t keep me for long
Because I’m always on the run,
And there is a good chance that by morning
I’ll be gone.

With my fist to my forehead,
I won’t be able to rest.
This quiet lamp and this ink have me
Bound to this desk.

I'm always lacking evidence,
But It always feels like it's at my fingertips.

Brandon Walden
12-17-2006
Moral Debate In Society Section 1
R. Farion-Villano

If it is wrong to kill a man, then it is wrong to kill a man. If a government justifies it’s policy by using the same means as a criminal to get their job done, then they are not preventing crime, they are promoting it. When a murderer, plans and carries out a murder, he/she has a specific purpose, and that murder is helping them to reach their goal or goals as it may be. If a government is to achieve it’s goals by killing, then they are no different than a murderer. Bad seeds, if you will, will continue to sprout and negatively impact our society. We cannot deter these horrible influences, but we can instigate and procreate them. Capital punishment sets a poor example as to how a tragic problem, such as the loss of innocent lives, should be solved, and the more the death penalty is set in effect, the more power a government has over the lives of it’s citizens.

In this day and age, homicidal criminals do not fear life in prison because the odds that they would actually spend the rest of their life in prison are extremely low. With the definition of a ‘life sentence’ as twenty-five years with parole, it is easy for deadly felons to hit the streets and strike again. This should obviously keep you up at night, especially if you or a loved one has experienced such horror first hand because you know what it is like to be faced with such trauma. That is part of the problem that generates the controversy over the death penalty. Many people who have personal bias want to be safe from being harmed by the same person again, and do not feel that twenty five years will make them comfortable. The reality is that regardless of whether they themselves, or someone else is harmed by the same person, there is still the chance that they will be struck by another attacker. Society as a whole can do the best it can to prevent crime, but do abolish it completely is a mere idealistic, unrealistic, utopian view.

So if we can’t save every innocent soul, how can we maximize safety and comfort within our communities so that we have as little victims as possible? This is a troubling question for many reasons. The first of which being it is extremely negative. If this is the way someone approaches this difficulty they are not going to accomplish much. Second, we need to acknowledge the success we have had within our communities in order to reform in a positive manner. Lastly, there is no scientific way we can determine what decisions will minimize murder and crime, and it is at the cost of those lives that we search for that answer. The more reasonable approach is the physiological one rather than the mathematical one. How do living standards, and lifestyles in a certain area affect crime rate, and what is the relation between them and the law enforcement in that region?

Clearly, many would agree that the location of your homestead has a significant impact on your safety. This is because different portions of the states, cities, and even towns have different cultures and sub-cultures that define their way of living and their quality of law enforcement. Some areas feel more safe than others because certain towns are overall more financially stable than others. Other factors that come into play are things such as press coverage, and lack of adequate police force. Whatever it may be, there is a solution to these problems and it is directly contingent to the solution for murder rate. Making murderers pay for their crimes is an extremely difficult puzzle. The key to solving any sort of difficult puzzle is to, concentrate, keep personal affection separate, think out side the box, and take a simple approach that guides you step by step through the process until you resolve the predicament.

Some puzzles have a lot more pieces than others, and therefore taking a lot more steps, which generally implies time as well, to complete. Seeing as how we are dealing with the lives of our same species, the process may carry on for a great amount of time, but the important thing is that if we are persistent with taking the small steps, we will continuously come closer to our goal.

As previously mentioned, we will not come to our goal however, if we are to hastily and angrily take the power of others lives into our hands, no matter who they are. One of the foremost issues with the death penalty is the room for racial discrimination. Data shows that racial discrimination is not only likely, but that it is occurring. The numbers suggest that any man killing a white man is far more likely to be put to death than a person who kills a black man, and moreover, any black man killing a white man is more likely to be put to death than any other person. Aside from the apparent internal controversy this sparks, it also implies that government has power to influence it’s citizens on how to judge their neighbors.

Another danger of the death penalty is that it subjects the possibility of sacrificing another innocent life, and at their expense. It is a terrible thing for an innocent life to be taken by means of murder, but it is even more terrible if that decision is collectively chosen by an organized group of governing members. There is no turning back so far as we know once you have killed a person, and while we cannot control every action out there, we can control our own. If we choose to kill, then we choose to kill, regardless of who we kill, but there is a chance that is great enough to recognize that an innocent life an innocent life or more may be lost due to a direct decision that we made as a whole.

When a murderer commits his/her act of ultimate immorality, they have a goal in mind. Part of this goal usually incorporates a desire for attention, which they often want in the most measurable form. Killing a murderer gives them the scene they are crying for and does not do much to prevent killing. Yes, that person is dead, they will not be able to kill again, but there will still be ravenous people out there. So what happens when we lock all the bad ones up? When a murderer is released on parole and kills again, it is not because he wasn’t put to death that he got the chance to kill again, it was because he wasn’t restrained properly. The problem is in not occurring because we aren’t killing enough people, it is occurring because we aren’t restraining them well enough—Not to mention it is less costly to restrain them properly than to put them through years on death row and trails.

“However good the security of a prison, someone will always try to escape and occasionally will be successful. If you have endless time to plan an escape and everything to gain from doing so, it is a very strong incentive.” This is a good point brought by an independent insightful website, and it is perfectly correlated with my most recent point. Although one may have a very strong incentive to escape from prison when faced with life without parole, there is no reason they should ever be successful, and it is quite possible for no one to ever be successful in attempting to escape from prison or solitary confinement. Our money would be much more well spent on securing prisons then killing. If we judge someone else for killing, and act in the same fashion, then our purpose is no greater than theirs. By enabling the death sentence we generate a field of violence that portrays the idea of it being O.K. to murder so long as your cause is considered just by a commune perspective, and those who share and accept that policy will be corrupted with unnatural power.



&I didn't even read it over because I have 3 more to do. Damn. These could have been a lot better if I had managed them into my time better. Lesson learned kids, take it from me, or learn it yourself, the outcome is the same, but the path never is.

There are fools in the last row
That hate to hear what I wrote.
They pick apart my simple guitar,
and how I sing from the heart.

In their amusement
I don't bother to defend
How the way I play
makes me what I am.

&If
You can't
Appreciate
A damn thing I have to sing or say,
Then can you keep your mouth shut?
You aren't much
to talk of.
So shut the fuck up.

Love it.
Class.

To this date, I've been a freight train.
My velocity hasn't changed.
Why does the world for me
Seem to spin
Faster than it really is?

The cargo that weighs on my back
Carries all expectations.
It has no destination.
It is everything I am.
A circle.
At times it looks so perfect.
It can be an essence.
It can be a burden.
Mostly, It's a prison.

I'm trying to bend these bars.
This track has been too long.
I'm bound to fail,
And when I am derailed
I won't ask for much,
Just remember me my love.

I through this paper together quickly before my english class today.
I don't know why I always post these..I guess I hope for feedback
so I can become a better writer, but no one cares so anyway:



Many of us like to think we make good decisions. We are the sort of being that has much fear of shame and will do what we can to hide from it. Another interesting quality we retain is that we like stand by our choices as the sole influence; disregarding the notion that anything outside our minds affects what we do. It is difficult for a human to admit when he or she is wrong because we truly believe we have entire authority over ourselves. Of course, it is when we are in a circumstance that presents no other outlet but to give in to being wrong that we blame the pressure cause by a controlling entity.

We live solely out of habit. Everything we do connects to that word. One of the most significant habits we have is spending. Expenditure is useful in that it generates a flow of goods that can be useful to people. However, the benefit of spending has been exploited to a point where it is merely a pursuit for power. Power generally lies in numbers. The more consumers a company can hook, the more powerful they will become. This wasn’t ever explained this way when advertising became a common encounter for daily life, and it wasn’t mentioned when malls were expanding, but it is what every person who was on the higher end of decision making had on their mind.

Their unspoken purpose was to have direct influence on where money was being traded, and more importantly, that as much money was being spent as possible. To do this they needed to control as many people as possible, which in turn wouldn’t be all that hard considering how people like to think the make all their own decisions and stand by them. Meetings were held, sketches were drawn, and a new nation of buyers was born, You can’t escape it now. Even if you get away from it, it has affected you forever. It might be hard to admit, but you’ve been targeted and those scheming money-makers hit the bulls-eye. Our only hope for satisfaction now is to understand how we have come to be the growing mass of consumers that we are in order to decrease our vulnerability.

James Twitchell’s essay titled “We Build excitement” explores the progression of advertising in our society and how it continues to shape us all. “Almost every physical object now carries advertising, almost every human environment is suffused with advertising, almost every moment of time is calibrated by advertising (292).” Twitchell remarks on how advertising has changed over the years by discussing how it has evolved into something that engulfs nearly everything. From billboards to things you can now carry in your pocket, advertising has swept our wallets. To increase the amount of people purchasing a companies product, the sellers need to be clever. When so many products are made machines that perform the same functions, it is tricky to make your product stand out and sell for the price you want it to since it is virtually the same as everything else made from that machine (290). Over time, the consumer catch on to the cleverness of advertising, and they refuse to be influence, but the pace picks back up when new ideas strike the drawing board bringing back the business.

One prevailing source of influence that keeps business promising is the teenage traffic in malls. William Kowinski’s Essay “Kids in the Mall: Growing Up Controlled” attacks the early years of mall development where kids were gathering frequently at the shopping centers. According to Kowinski, the encouragement of a large teen population in malls is training a mass of consumers for the future who will be conditioned to spend time and money within malls and shopping centers. “The mall as a structured mother encourages passivity and consumption…therefore all the learn about becoming adults is how to act and how to consume (342).” The business world became aware of this and made use of it. In a way, they are creating an army for the sole purpose of spending rather than fighting to keep the economy live and well. It is appealing because the adolescents can gather and be free of parent intervention in a place that advertising has them lost in a world of wanting more and more (342). Malls and advertising work together to secure the stability of our nation’s economy for a lifetime.

Once a generation of mall goers grows and generates families, they bring their sons and daughters into the same world that surrounded them. The pressure of advertising circles, and starts at a very young age. Before you can even realize it, you are desiring things that you would never have wanted if it weren’t for the flashy colors, the fancy designs, the bold logos, or the catchy titles. Advertising creates an entirely new perspective on what we consider ‘need’, and the mall environment enables us to fulfill these seemingly necessary must haves.

Without the problems that Kowinski and Twitchell discuss, we would be free of a great deal of stressing. The extra cravings create expectations and raise standards in society. That could be a good or a bad thing depending on what you consider proper standards. If your integrity is judged based on how much your shoes cost, then we might need to rethink the dangers of advertising and make some amends with the dangerous cycle. As for the malls, they have about as much to offer as they take in return; however, they are using people as a means to a gain. It would be a completely different scenario if we were all breaking even. It would in fact be somewhat of a utopia, but that is certainly not the case. We are being used so that those who sit in higher chairs above us can become more and more luxurious, so that buildings can be torn down for larger ones to stand in their place, and so the world can remain close to the cliché: time is money.

yeah whatever that took like 35 minutes, which I guess isn't half bad, but I still hate it.

Sometimes I'm a bandage.
Sometimes I'm a scar.
Other times I'm just to caught up on what you are
To figure myself in an expression of thoughts
To pose a series of pictures on series of walls
That decorate your room to remind you
What we meant, and how we fled.

I'd do it again.
It's not quite a sin,
but rather our only
hope of getting out
is to give in.

-brandon

There is a crack in this skull,
so I can't follow
your movements are just the drug
I need to swallow
the truth before I'm buried
in the fullest of cemetaries
where those at rest have sinned
and wouldn't buy in.
No, they just couldn't forgive.

Don't look so astonished
my wounds are the perfect garnish
for all that I've done.
I'm not deserving of favors,
but with your hand bracing my neck,
all I ask, is that you be my savior.

I watch the images wearing.
My vision is cluttered.
The sounds are staring
me straight in the ears.
Tell me what I need to hear.

I always imagined it ending in this fashion.
The movies we watched made it so elaborate.
I need for you to keep me a secret,
and keep it close to your regrets.

...

There is a crack in this skull,
so I can't follow
your movements are just the drug
I need to swallow
the truth before I'm buried
in the fullest of cemeteries
where those at rest have sinned
and wouldn't buy in.
No, they just couldn't forgive.

Don't look so astonished
my wounds are the perfect garnish
for all that I've done.
I'm not deserving of favors,
but with your hand bracing my neck,
all I ask, is that you be my savior.

I watch the images wearing.
My vision is cluttered.
The sounds are staring
me straight in the ears.
Tell me what I need to hear.

I always imagined it ending in this fashion.
The movies we watched made it so elaborate.
I need for you to keep me a secret,
and keep it close to your regrets.

...

You know things are going well when you wake up a half hour before your alarm clock is set three mornings in a row. I guess I have just had a lot to be excited about lately. We just moved our band practice space from the desolate building in Brockton to band stand live in Taunton (right next to skater's edge). That has kept me busy, along with school work, and writing in general. I have also just been excited for no reason really. The other night I was prancing around the apartment like what reminded me of myself when I was five years old, and I think Nate was a little scared/worried. I've got issues, you've got yours, let's keep things separate. I can't stop thinking about halves and wholes. I've been trying to decide if I really believe there is someone exclusively out there for me, or if that notion is just one we buy like anything else simply to ease our strife. I think back to when I truly believed it was just me and her. I realize, that has already happened to me twice, and in retrospect I know other women who I fit with far better than either of those two. I'm glad that I'm single right now because I need to sort things out. It is going to take a long time considering where my focus lies, but I'm sure I will meet a girl one day that will have me thinking wholes again. I try so hard not to hurt anyone: why does that have to always turnout inevitable? What the fuck really is inevitable? Fuck that. There are so many different ways of seeing and describing things. I don't think I will ever run out of material to write about in this life seeing as how I am so open minded and there is simply too much to write and accomplish in what we know as a typical life span. Unless of course you quit, there is always something. Furthermore, there is always something to bitch about. i e. I'm hungry and low on money. fuck. bye.


-brandonshane